Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
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Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
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You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
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