True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
