im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
