as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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