If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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