id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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