I wanna bring you to show and tell
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
