Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
He kissed a someone with a penis
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
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