Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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