Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
he just fucked me for my cheese.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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