my being single is dangerous.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
