I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
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