She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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