One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
