dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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