You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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