bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
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