are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
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I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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