Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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