The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
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The best revenge is premature balding
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
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I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
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