some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
