you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
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