So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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