I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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