dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
