Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Randomize
