Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
