It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
fuck your aforementioned shoe
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
