i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
