White coat. Heels.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
