how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
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