i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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