yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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