There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
