Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
A+ Viking dick
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
