There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
