lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
