i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize
