how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
