Rock
Scissors
Fuck
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
