Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
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