im gay
i know
yea but for you.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
