I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
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After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
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Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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