I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
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