Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
