She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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