she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
