I bet he comes in French.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Dick very happy bro
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
