Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he fucked my hip out of place.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize