I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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