what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
