Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize