careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize