hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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