Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
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