In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
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I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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