Yo dont text me then not text me
I just pynch a tree in the face
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
