ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
he was CRYING into my vagina
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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