I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
i barfeds in our rink
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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