Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
